Chubby Tami

San Diego

2009-10-10T20:32:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow we're leaving for San Diego. I am SO not ready. I'm really a last minute person, I like to stay consistent. :)

Today we went to Walmart and bought some necessities for our trip. One of our big things this trip is to try to save as much money as we can. Although all the parks don't let you bring in food, we're going to try to be naughty and sneak in some snacks. We also want to leave the park and go to the car and eat some lunch out of a cooler. I'm going to be watching what goes into my mouth.

I really feel like I'm a balloon right now and I just can't stop the expanding of my belly. My son today told me that I wasn't strong because my belly is too big. Sigh.....I know he's only four but it sux that he thinks of me that way. I really need to get my head on straight.

Got to run.

Tami

OOPS! I did it again!

2009-10-10T01:57:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I'm really not a Britany Spears fan, but I thought that fit pretty good with this post.

So, I'm gaining back all the weight I lost after I got on Metformin. I am SOOOO frustrated. My clothes are starting to feel tight, and when I look in the mirror all I see is my profile growing, wider, and wider. The sad thing is, I have absolutely no excuses. I ate like complete crap these past couple of months, have not worked out, and forget to take my medication a lot. What kills me the most though, is this past week I have woken up every morning determined to watch my nutrition and do some physical activity, but by 9:00 a.m. I've blown it.

I know if you go back in my archives you will probably find at least five posts similar to this one. Me bitchin' about how I've done it again, gone back and put off getting healthy. I follow so many bloggers that eat healthy, I don't know how they do it. I guess one thing is none of them have little children. But still that's not an excuse for me, it should be an incentive for me to keep going.

I really want to blog everyday, it really helps me get my frustrations out. I'm sure my husband is sick of hearing me moan and groan about not having anything to wear in the morning, then later seeing me at night pigging out on potatoe chips and french onion dip.

The only thing I could do right now is get some sleep, and try again tomorrow.

Tami

If I had balls, I just learned how it feels when they get kicked!

2009-09-15T22:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my husband and I took our 16 month old daughter to see a pulmonary specialists. For 9 months now we have been battling her chronic cough and horrible breathing. Her ped has told us not to worry about it and keep giving her treatments that our used for asthma. After 6 months of nebulizer and inhalers (without ANY improvement) we finally set up an appointment to see a specialists.

As we are sitting in the room waiting for the doctor I spied a poster on the wall. The poster was about Cystic Fibrosis. I let that sink in awhile before I turned to my husband and say, "Huh, never thought of that one." I knew what Cystic Fibrosis was and to be honest, I pushed it aside and said "Nah, it can't be that."

When the doctor was done with his examination, (Which took awhile because of Addie's screaming tantrums, thank GOD for suckers!) the doctor asks if our heritage descended from Europe. Yup, you know us white folks usually come from there. The doctor goes on and tells us that there is a genetic disease called Cystic Fibrosis

.....................stop..................

...........right there................

.................I just got kicked in the balls...............

My daughter? Have a disease that makes her LIFE EXPECTANCY SHORTER

After I was able to start my heart again and make sure my testicles, which I never knew I had, were back where they should be, I was able to hear some other words from the doctor's mouth like, "shows symptoms" and "I don't think so"....wait....you don't think so? A specialist who has worked with CF toddlers before says "I don't thinks so" when it comes to my daughter and that disease. THERE IS HOPE! I won't go in detail about the drive home, or the long night of no sleep, and the emotional morning that occured today.....let's just say I'm emotionally exhausted.

For now we are continuing the nebulizer twice a day with some new medicine from that doctor. Hopefully this will make her better. More than likely he is going to test her. I guess it's a test that only takes 45 minutes. Can you imagine? Waiting for that kind of news? But I guess I will think about that when the time comes.

Bad blogger! B-A-D!!

2009-09-13T20:37:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I stop blogging. I absolutely love writing every detail of my warped brain down for the whole world to see! :) Actually I think I got a little nervous that I might get people to actually read my blog....like people that knew who I was instead of people just out in the internet universe. I think I've finally come to grips and realized that if people I know read my blog, cool. If they think I'm a little nuts after they read my blog, fine. The truth is I am a little nutty. My brain works in ways that is hard for anyone to understand, especially me. I can seem quiet, and normal when you first meet me, but you have no idea. I keep a lot of things bottled up afraid to say it to the world! Now that I am able to blog I am going to not let anything stand in my way from making me out to be a complete nutjob! WUHAHA!

Ok, I'm overdoing it a little much. I want to start blogging because I need to keep track of my kids cuteness, and my weight issues. I won't be too crazy I promise.

2009-07-25T08:36:00.000-07:00

Since I went back to work this week to set up my classroom I can honestly say that today feels like a Saturday. When you aren't working all the days seem to mesh together and a particular day never stands out. Sometimes Ty and I would have to check a calendar to find out what day it was, but now that's over.

Saturday morning in my house are not as mellow as I wish. Addison wakes up at 5:30 on the dot and is usually cranky until her nap time because on Fridays we're up a little later. Aiden is a pain at breakfast. I have to pull teeth to get him to eat anything, and all he wants to do is watch cartoons. I just try to get some kind of housework done. Doesn't usually happen though, those that get up Saturdays and have their house spotless by 10 o'clock are my heroes. I wish I had the motivation to do that, but instead I'm a lazy slob......or I would like to say, a "recovering" lazy slob. I have actually gotten better over the years. (You should of seen our house after Aiden was born, OMG! how I stood having a house like that I'll never know! )

Last night I went to Oregano's with some friends to celebrate one of them having a baby VERY soon. I love girl's night they are so much fun. Having random conversations is something I live for. Our conversation started out about our children's middle names to how much we hate the Octo-mom. Dinner started out with some Artichoke Spinach Dip. Their "Boom" dip. For my entree I had a spicy beef sald (YUM!), and for dessert we split the pizza cookie....I also had an alcoholic beverage because when the kids are away, the mom will play! All in all I think I did ok nutrition wise.

Speaking of watching what I eat, I lost 5 pounds last week. WOOT!! WOOT!!! I only have 3 pounds until I'm back to my pre-vacation weight. I really want to get out of the 190's It's been WAY too long. like Dory say, "Just keep swimming...... Just keep swimming.........."

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-22T22:00:00.000-07:00

Summer's over :(

2009-07-21T21:42:00.001-07:00

Today I got my keys to my classroom and began getting ready for the new school year. I'm actually going a week earlier than I thought I would. I believe it's because going back to work is going to be more relaxing than our summer vacation, don't worry you aren't the only one to think I'm nuts for saying that.

I guess I should feel guilty because it's like I'm saying that I don't want to be around my kids anymore. Truth be told I LOVE and ADORE my children, they bring a smile to my face everyday. I just feel like during summer vacation I need to do something with them ALL the time, it takes a lot out of me. I also feel like they have been WAY overstimulated by our running around this summer and they probably need to find some kind of normalcy before they both start spending evenings running in circles around our island in the kitchen. Oh wait! They do that!

So now that I'm back to work I can say that I don't think I could post pics of what I eat everyday. I am still taking pics of what I eat and I promise I will post them as much as possible. Today I forgot to take a picture of my Gyro at lunch and I just feel like it wouldn't be the same without it. (Or could it be I'm just too lazy today to get up and get my purse out of the kitchen with my camera in it....hmmmm.) I did great eating, and I even managed to get off my big butt and hit the gym. I have more to say about that but my dryer just stopped and I need to put my wet clothes in there before I hit the sack. Peace!

My daughter has 2 new holes on her body, and I meant to!

2009-07-19T22:06:00.000-07:00

Today my daughter went through a common rite of passage...........she got her ears pierced. I was going to wait until she got older so that it would be a special event that we could share together, THEN I saw a mother and daughter actually have that special event where the daughter was crying and the mother was trying to convince her to go through it, I decided our special event will be a day at a spa with NO crying. Ok, the "event" did have some crying after the gun punctured a hole in my poor baby's ear ;( but it only lasted long enough to unwrap a sucker and stick it in her mouth. It was all worth it! Her little earing is so cute!

My food journal today consists of all meals made with love by my hubby. I don't know what I would do without him! He is a wonderful cook who is teaching me how to eat healthy. I promise to add more details about him on a later post.

Breakfast today I had a waffle made from wheat pancake mix with a sprinkle of snow (powdered sugar) and light syrup. The drink is an iced coffee.

Lunch was a grilled turkey sandwhich with colby jack cheese and 1 slice of laughing cow. I also had some cottage cheese and carrots (I added those when I realized my food needed some color!)

Dinner was black beans and dirty rice with steamed potatoes, zucchini, and red pepper.

After I took this BEAUTIFUL picture of my hubby's dinner, (he plated mine first and wasn't good enough for the picture, his words) my son says, "There goes mom taking pictures of her food again!" My son is the most unpredictable 4 year old you will ever meet. The next thing out of his mouth was for me to take a picture of his food.

Ahhhhhhh the little moments that you treasure.

Saturday Food Journal

2009-07-18T20:41:00.000-07:00

Ok, Jenna from the blog "Eat, Live, Run" has a gift! Her pictures of her food our amazing. They look as though I can reach in the screen and sample her meals. My pics however are quite boring. I don't know if it's my food choices, or the fact I suck at taking pictures of inanimate objects. Whatever it is I apologize, I'm going to do this anyway!

For breakfast I had some leftover eggs and veggies from yesterday. They were sprinkled with Feta Cheese and were deelish! I also had a bran muffin my husband made and a glass of all natural apple juice.

Lunch was some Lentil w/Feta Cheese. I used it as a dip for tortilla chips and washed it down with a Mountain Dew.

Dinner was yummy Salmon Patties made by my hubby. I added pesto on top and they were soooooooooooooooooo good. He also cooked some spinach, pretty good but I have no idea what he put in it. The blue cup is filled with good old fashion water.

Productive Day

2009-07-18T20:21:00.000-07:00

Today my husband was kind enough to take the kids out of the house and hang with his mama all day. I don't know what it is, but I always NEED to clean the house when they're gone. It's probably because my house is ALWAYS a mess, and the only time I can get things done is when my 3 children (2 plus the hubby ;) ) are out of the house. Today I concentrated on organizing our office, or junk room as it has come to be. It is also home to my scrapbooking area which has not been used in quite some time. I am very proud of myself for sticking to it and actually accomplishing what I wanted to do. Here are before and after pics of the 2 areas I got done.

Area #1: The Computer Area

Before

After

Area #2: Scrapbooking Area

Before

After

There is still one area left in that room that needs some shaping up. It is called the "Bursting Closet" area. Stay tuned!

Pics of what I eat

2009-07-17T22:48:00.000-07:00

I've been inspired. I read a blog called Eat, Live, and Run and everyday she writes about what she eats and even posts pics of her food. She is a WONDERFUL cook and is very creative about her HEALTHY food. I am so amazed at how she eats. I really want to be that way. I've decided that I too will TRY to post pictures of what I eat everyday. I'm not promising anything though because with two kids and school beginning to start very soon (shudder) I don't know if I will have enough time EVERY night. I really think that it might be a good idea though. It might actually detour me away from some bad foods. Like if I see a cupcake and take a picture of it before it goes in my mouth, I'll look at the picture and it will process in my mind that eating this cupcake might make the scale go up, or add more bumps to my face and because the blog site I use only has so much room for pics to upload per post, means I can't eat more than so many times a day because I can't upload them all.

My husband thinks I'm crazy if I do this, but he's also very supportive of my weightloss. He wants the whole family to start eating healthy and becoming active, and will try about anything to get us there. He's just doesn't want me to use my camera more than I already do!

Flashback Friday

2009-07-17T17:28:00.000-07:00

My computer crashed before Addie was born so I can only go as far back as May 2008. This is their first photo session together. You can't tell, but this was during her break between screaming her head off. I can't believe how tiny she was!

My Love

2009-07-16T09:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I got to see one of my loves......Harry Potter! I bought a black shirt with Muggle across it in big white letters for the occasion. Surprisingly, I was the only one dressed up in our theater. That's ok because I have learned that being a nerd is cool. Anyway, the sixth movie was wonderful! It really made me want to pick up the seventh book and read it again.

At the movies I devoured a bag of twizzlers, and some reeses pieces. After the movie we went to Olive Garden where I had 2 breadsticks, a salad, a glass of wine, chicken & shrimp carbanara (some is in my fridge though), and 1/2 a dessert. Did I also mention before the movie I had some chips and dip at the mother-in-laws??? UGH! Here I am trying to lose my vacation weight and I'm acting like I'm still on vacation. It's just so hard training yourself to stay away from temptations over and over and over and over. Let me take a deep breath...............

Ok, today we are going to a friend's house to go swimming. We are having sandwhiches for lunch and we are bringing the chips and goldfish. I plan to bring a plum to have instead of chips. I also am planning on having lots of water, and staying away from snacking while laying by the pool. Ty and I purchased some food journals and I want to make sure to be very honest. One of the things we have to do is measure and count everything. How annoying is that! I really don't feel like counting every chip or fishie I put in my mouth so I think I will just stay away.

Wordless Wenesday (A day late!)

2009-07-16T09:37:00.000-07:00

I'm done with vacations! (Until the next one of course!)

2009-07-14T11:22:00.000-07:00

We got back from vacation last night and I really wanted to jump on and bloggity blog, but my body was in some sort of physical coma. It ached and I could barely move. After the kids were in bed (almost 2 hours past their normal bedtime) I layed in bed and fell quickly asleep. Even after our Missouri trip I didn't feel this exhausted. But then again, we did only wait one week after that one to head out once again.

For our trip we headed to Lake Havasu first. My parents live there and we were able to spend a day on the lake. Aiden loved it! He would shout "I'm free!" as he floated in the lake with his lifevest on. Addie grew to enjoy it. She HATED having a lifevest on, but as the boat got up to speed she smiled as the wind blew in her face. Of course when we stopped to go swimming she acted like she was a pro and would try to get as far as possible in the water before mommy stopped her. She is my little dare devil. She is always wanting to do things that she is too little for. We are in so much trouble.

Next up we headed for California to visit with my brother and grandparents. Friday night we had Vince's Spaghetti my FAVORITE restaurant of all time. I ate like a pig! Saturday we went to Capistrano beach where the kids enjoyed their first time playing in the ocean. I forgot how messy sand was! As soon as we got to my grandma's we dumped them in the bath and they could make sand castles still with the amount of sand they accumulated. My grandma's place is my favorite place to visit. She has this luscious green backyard that is beautiful! I was very thankful that Addie never discovered her little pond, that would of been a disaster. My uncle made a mexican dinner that was to die for. I really stuffed my self by sampling every entree, but it was well worth it.

Finally on our vacation we stayed in Long Beach for a couple of days. We went to the Aquarium of the Pacific and had a great time. Addison is so into animals. She was so excited to see all the sea life. She would laugh, scream, and point to the fish. That girl is going to do something that has to do with water one day. Aiden was really into touching all the creatures and he really loved the sharks. We have his hair in a mohawk right now and we call him sharkboy. That night we went to Bubbagump shrimp for dinner and walked around the pier.

I haven't weighed myself yet, but I am really afraid. I'm going to wait until my weigh-in day Friday. I just don't want to know. I acted like I could eat whatever I want for the past month. I hope that by eating right for 3 days maybe I'll shed a few pounds.

I'm a blog-a-holic

2009-07-07T22:48:00.001-07:00

So after a month of not posting I am once again on a quest to blog everyday. I have become so addicted to reading other people's blogs! I want to inspire someone just like others have inspired me...................or I would just like to be one of the many blogs they follow when they're are bored and have nothing else to do. I would be ok with either one.

I'm starting back into my blog the day before we leave for another vacation. Only one week ago we took the kids, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law on a two week road trip to Missouri and back. All in all we traveled 3,600 miles through 7 states. Definitly an interesting adventure. This time we're just taking the little ones to my parents house in Lake Havasu, then to brother's in California, then to grandmas, then I promise you a couple of days without any extended family to Long Beach. This will be our final trip before we head back to school. In fact, we'll only have 2 weeks left before we both have to go back. It's amazing how fast summers go. I wanted to do so much this summer and it just never happens. I guess I shouldn't say that, if my Honda Odyssey heard me he would probably take his battery and throw it at the back of my head. Don't worry I did take care of him, he got his 60,000 mile service before the big trip, and I plan to give him some fresh oil and a good bath inside and out when we get back from Cali.

First day of summer!!

2009-05-23T15:36:00.000-07:00

This is the best part of being a teacher.....summers off!!!! I am so excited to have time to clean, excercise, eat healthy, and most of all hang out with my family. We have a lot planned including a 24 hour car ride to Missouri with me, my husband, 4 year old, one year old, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law. ( I still have a month so let's not talk about that now, a little nervous about that one.)

The first day of summer started out great. I went to the gym and did a body works class which uses hand weights. It felt good to finally excercise again, you know after my 3 month break! If you have read my post before you know that's how I roll. On and off, on and off. I can't just stick to something. The good new though is I haven't gained a all the weight back. In fact, since you heard from me last I am officially below 200 and am now stuck in the 190s. So at least I can say that I reached one of my goals.

My goal this summer is to pretty much give away everything in my house. We are in dier need to de-clutter every room. Having two kids, well 3 couting my husband, to pick up after is a pain when there's so much stuff to pack up. So out with the old and no more new! I do not want to be a pack rat, but judging by my house that's what I've become.

My other goal is to be in the 170s before I get back to school. I would say 160s but of course that would mean summer goes until December and that's only in my dreams. 170 seems like a good goal.

And the weight loss comes to a halt....again

2009-02-24T21:17:00.001-08:00

Sigh.....Reading that last post made me sad. I was so happy about my progress. Now....not so much.

I don't understand my body. It's been over 15 years since I can lose more than 10 pounds without a 6 month plateau. I wish that I can just keep losing until I reach a point where there's an actual change in my body. When I look at some of the pictures on the site I think that I look a little different, but not enough to make me want to post some current pics of myself. I really want to be under 200 by spring break. Only 5 more pounds to go!!

Work has become very stressful. I never would of thought that my job in education would be on the line. I always believed that it was a safe job. But of course when there's a budget crisis, education is the first to be cut. (Especially in AZ, thanks to our legislation we are now dead last in the nation for education spending). So anyway I'm a little freaked out.

Addison is doing great. She is a very happy 9 month old. She is already holding onto things and walking, pretty scary. I went and bought her her first pair of stride rites. Those are really expensive but sooooo good. Aiden was in them until he was 2. Addie is probably going to be the same way. I'll have to post some pics. It just seems to take forever on the website.

I'll try to start posting everyday......even if it's a little post.....I promise.

RSV Sucks!!

2009-02-15T08:40:00.000-08:00

So Addison is sick again with the "RSV". The Dr. forgot to tell me that it could come back because that's what that virus does. Of course this week sucked. Long night with a cranky baby, and tired work days. I can't take anymore sick leave because when she had it last time I used all my days to stay home. Thankfully my mother-in-law was able to take care of her all week, I didn't want to bother my mom and ask her to move in with us again for a week or two.

As far as my weight loss goes, it's amazing. It amazes me that my body is actually doing what it should be doing. Ever since my Dr. put me on metformin I've been losing at a steady pace. I have been also going to the gym 4 times a week, but I haven't completely been doing well on the nutrition part. I'm only 5 pounds away from being out of the dreaded 200s! Can you believe it? I'm hoping to get there by the end of the month. When I do I'm going to award myself with a massage! I'm hoping to be down in the 170s by summer. I really want to wear shorts and go swimming with my children. We don't have a pool, so the swimming part has to be in public, and no one wants to see a whale. I figured if I get to 170 and still look like a whale, then I'll probably just be so dang happy with myself for getting there I won't notice.

I think my body has changed a lot since I've lost weight. When I get below the 200s I'll take some after pics.

1.2 lost...not bad.

2009-01-27T20:52:00.000-08:00

Is it bad to have two weigh ins a week on different scales???? I weigh myself at the Kronos class on Tuesday nights on their scale, then I weigh myself on my scale Friday mornings. I like my scale the best :) Tonight at Kronos I lost 1.2 pounds. That puts me at a 7.2 pound lost in two weeks, I am proud of myself. I've noticed a difference in my t-shirts, I don't have to wrap them around my knees to stretch them to fit around my belly. Also, I'm noticing my sleeves don't feel like those strap they put on you to take you blood pressure anymore.

I'm getting used to my workout schedule, it might actually work! Here is my schedule:

Mondays-- no workouts, Aiden's soccer practice
Tuesdays-- boot camp
Wednesdays--personal training session
Thursdays-- boot camp
Fridays--optional gym workout
Saturdays-- Housework, soccer games, family time
Sundays-- boot camp

I feel like I should be working out everyday because I'm in a contest, but hey with two kids and one being only 8 months old that is not possible. I'm really excited about February because my school does a walking challenge where our students are challenged to log 10,000 steps a day and I have permission to take my students on a walk everyday for 20minutes around the neighborhood. Great way to get me moving!!

What a week

2009-01-25T08:37:00.000-08:00

So I think the week of hell is finally over....for now. Addie is feeling much better and is back to her cute and stubborn self, I have gotten used to my condition and my new found diet, and Tyler's grandma is still hanging on in hospice (like I said "for now")

This week I plan to go back to the gym, I haven't been in almost 2 weeks. I paid for 6 sessions with a trainer and I've only used one. I'm hoping they won't give me too much of a guilt trip because I might just say some things that aren't supposed to be spoken out loud. Family comes first, period. Tonight I'm going to do the boot camp that kicked my ass. I think I need a good ass kicking so I can get back in the swing of exercising. I wouldn't say I hit a plateau, but I'm not losing as fast as I was, only 1 pound last week. I really would like to win the contest, but with me having PCOS I don't think my body is capable of losing all the weight I want it to in only 4 months. But hey, 10 pounds in one month isn't so bad, and if I keep it up it will be 40 by the end of the contest. Maybe some of the contestants have given up, who knows.

I want to start posting what I'm eating so maybe I'll get on later.

Sugar is my enemy

2009-01-19T04:54:00.000-08:00

The other night I wanted something sweet so I had some melted marshmallow on graham crackers. Yesterday I felt sick all day. I think my body can't take sugar on the meds I'm taking, or maybe my body has never been able to take sugar. I feel much better this morning. Thank goodness because I have to go back tomorrow.

Being home with 2 sick kids has been really hard. I haven't gone to the gym in a week. I feel really guilty. Plus I had to cancel one of my training appointments, and still haven't made another one. My mom is here to help us out with day-care, so hopefully I can make it some time!

On the meds

2009-01-17T07:32:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I filled my prescription for metformin. I started taking it last night. So far the only side effect is I'm having a little bit of nausea.....feel like I'm pregnant again. I had my weigh in and I lost 2 pounds last week. I'm now exactly where I was before the holidays. Which means I'm either going to be stuck here for two months, or I will finally break the barrier. I'm trying to stay positive so bring on the bulldozer.

I don't like to announce my weight publicly or anything, but it's obvious from my pics that I'm over 200 pounds (hey I'm honest). So my first goal is to get below 200, I'll announce it when it happens, hopefully soon. My other goal has been a dream of mine since I was a teenager. It's not an exact weight, it's a non-scale victory (NSV). I want to be able to walk into a clothing store, take some clothes from then non-plus section, and have them fit. I'm actually right now not even in the plus section. (I'm short and have no boobs, nothing everlooks right.) I'm in the middle, so all my clothes have taken me forever to find. I try on 20 things and come out with 1. I REALLY want that to stop. Oh how nice it would be to try on clothes and actually get a choice of what I buy, not buy them because I have no other option.

Addie is doing better. She had a follow-up and he said it looks like she's heading in the right direcion, no need for hospitals. I'm still a little freaked out about the long term affects. I hope it doesn't make her sick in the future. She slept throught the night last night (first time in 2 week!!! Mommy really needed that!) and right now she's taking a nap. She probably is trying to catch up on her sleep, poor girl

Flashback Friday

2009-01-16T08:14:00.000-08:00

Here's some before shots of me.

Sigh....why is it everything happens in one week!

2009-01-15T08:55:00.001-08:00

This week has been horrible. I won't tell you everything, it's hard for me to write about it.

Right now I'm home with my daughter who has RSV. What a scary diagnosis!!! You have to wait around for 3 days to see if she gets better, and if she doesn't it's off to the hospital. If she doesn't get better there she can be affected the rest of her life. I'm hoping for the best but so far today I think she has gotten worst. It's so hard watching your baby struggle to breathe and be in so much pain. She also has an ear infection, and both of her top teeth are coming in. Poor thing. I feel so bad.

This week I got a diagnosis too. I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). I was having trouble losing weight so my Dr. did some test and there it was. One of the affects of it is obesity and trouble losing weight. (I have a lot more symptoms but I won't mention them TMI) It's weird finally knowing that there is something actually wrong with me. I've always wondered why I can gain 10 pounds in one week if I don't watch what I eat. Watching the biggest loser all these years has really pissed me off. Some of the contestants are my size and they show what they eat, I've NEVER eaten like that in my life.

I'm probably not making any sense. I don't know what to think about the whole situation. I go to my Dr. today to maybe get on meds and find out what exactly this is, and what I need to do to control it. I'll write again later and maybe change my blog into some sort of LIVING WITH PCOS blog. I'm sure there are other people out there that have this.

5 pounds down!!!

2009-01-10T06:51:00.000-08:00

My first week and I lost 5 pounds, unbelievable! I'm only 2 pounds away from where I was when I took my 2 month break. I am so looking forward to more weeks like that. I haven't been out to eat, or had any kind of sweet dessert and I have to say I'm ok with that. My 29th birthday I think really woke me up. I don't want to be like this forever, and I don't want any more regrets about my weight.

Today we are celebrating my birthday by seeing the Lion King and going to one of my favorite Indian food restaurants. The thing thats stressing me out is Aiden has soccer pictures right before the show and I know we are going to be late. I've always wanted to see it and I'm bummed that I miss the beginning. I hope I don't freak out and embarass myself at soccer pictures.

At the Indian restaurant I'm planning on getting my favorite, chicken curry. I usually order it with naan and rice, but I think I'm just going to get naan. That's stuff good! I also am going to only eat half of the curry. I used to eat the whole thing and get incredibly stuff. But I'm done with that. Plus who has fun when they feel like they're going to explode.

Trader Joes

2009-01-03T15:43:00.000-08:00

Today we did our grocery shopping for the first time at Trader Joes. It's a very small store and it was a little awkward trying to squeeze through the small aisles with so many other people doing their Saturday shopping there. The best part of shopping there was Aiden had a little cart to push around. He loved putting the food in his cart, the checker even let him scan some of the items.

We did a whole weeks of groceries and spent half as much as a regular food store. Even though things were more expensive they didn't have all the junk that we end up getting.

Today I did really good with my eating. Everything I ate today was healthy and I drank a lot of my lemon water. One thing I'm really concentrating on is not having any sugar snacks. I'm sticking to one diet coke a day, and some flavored creamer for my coffee. I've never stopped eating sugar, but with me if give me a piece of cake and I eat the whole darn thing. So I'm trying to not have the piece at all.

Tonight were heading to a fantasy football party and I'm going to do my best and stay away from things. Ty made some hummus to bring over and everyone at the party are tri-athletes so I should be fine. I'm planning also going to the gym and doing some cardio. I'll check in later!!

I did it!!

2009-01-02T20:17:00.000-08:00

I just got back from the gym, I'm sweaty, stinky, and I LOVE it!! I'm so proud of myself. I did 20 minutes on the treadmill, 3 sets of abs (I forgot how much that hurts after a c-section), and 20 minutes on the bike. Now I'm going to take my cricket and make a poster....I'm a scrapbooking nerd if you didn't know that already.

Biggest Loser Contest

2009-01-02T13:08:00.000-08:00

I went in to my gym to officially weigh myself and take before pics. I went in with long black pants and a semi-tight green shirt on thinking that that was what I was going to wear for the pic. My trainer convinced that it would be better if I took off the shirt and just had the sports bra on. Although it was only like 10 seconds that was seriously the most embarassing thing I've ever gone through. It's funny though because now I'm thinking I should of just went for having shorts on too. Oh well, I'm not in it for the money, I'm in it to get my butt in gear.

So far today I've done really well on my eating. This morning I went to the Dr. to get blood taken to make sure everything is ok, and I don't have any physical issues with my weight. On the way home I stopped at QT because I was starving, and ended up choosing a slim fast. It was actually really good. When I got home we ate some veggies, hummus, and a couple of pita chips. Then for lunch I had leftover grilled chicken and pasta.

My next plan is to cut up some of the lemons we got from our tree and put them in some water. I heard that putting lemons in water will increase your metabolism. I don't know about that, sounds too easy.

Here's a recent pic of me and the family at X-mas, we're at the grandparents house
(check out the couch!)

This year I turn 30!!

2009-01-01T10:38:00.001-08:00

I can't believe I'll be 30 this year. That is CRAZY!!

Yesterday Tyler and I signed up for the gym across the street. They are a 24 hour gym and it's really convenient since we can just walk or ride our bikes there if we wanted too. I also joined their biggest loser contest. It starts today and goes until April 28th. First place is $1,000, a $2,000 vacation, and a free 1 year membership. I honestly think I can do it. The only thing that sux is I'm not officially enrolled until next Thursday. So what do I do?? Start my plan now or wait until Thursday? I wish they had some openings sooner, but it's my fault for waiting so long. Did I mention that I'll have 6 half-hour personal training sessions?

Something else I'm now apart of is something called Kronos. It's a program my work is putting on. It's pretty much free, and I think it would good for me to try something other than weight watcher since that doesn't work for me. Between the Kronos thing, the biggest loser contest, and the personal training something better click or I'm probably stuck like this forever!

2008-12-29T10:14:00.000-08:00

Ok, read a couple of post down about me quitting when I'm feeling good for 6 months. I'm so predictable!!!! AHHHH!!

2 Months Later

2008-12-29T09:59:00.000-08:00

Well.....

I'm back. What can I say??? I guess it was a 2 month vacation from reflection. I don't know why I haven't blogged.

Actually, I do know why I haven't written anything. It's because these past two months I didn't follow any weight loss program. I've eaten like crap, and haven't given a shit. Now as I face my 29th birthday in 2 days I have to face this fact...I'm almost in my thirties, and I'm considered obese!

My husband is the one that snapped me out of my funk. I was bitching and moaning about turning 29 and not wanting to be 30 because I was going to be an old woman....when he looked at me and said, "Why do you hate getting older? You already have a career, a home, a husband, and two beautiful healthy kids. What else do you have to accomplish?" That's when it hit me like a 2 ton brick. The only thing I have to do is lose this weight.

I've been on and off diets since the third grade and have only had very mild successes. So this is it. My last chance to change my life. I have 1 year. I'll be 30 and I don't want to be in this fat suit anymore. My husband and I sat down and made some rules for eachother (more later) and if we follow them, we will take our dream cruise to Alaska the summer of 2010. If not, we'll probably never go.

So, in short, I'm back with a vengeance!!!

Right back to where I was

2008-10-24T05:47:00.000-07:00

Today was my weigh in day and I'm right back to what I was 2 weeks ago. I was hoping for maybe a tenth of a pound be different then before....ha.

Last night I was over a little bit. That wasn't probably smart going over points the night before a weigh in. I know now to be very careful. This week there are some challenges ahead. My parents are coming this weekend and I know we will be eating out a lot. Next week work is going to kill me!!! It's a very busy week for me, and when I get stressed I turn to food. Here are some things other than eating I'll do if I feel the urge:

1.) CLEAN!! (Yea right, I am not very domesticated, I have to force myself to do that)
2.) Read. ( I am reading Twilight right now. OMG! SOOOOOOOO good. I'm almost done but there's always the next 3)
3.) Scrapbook. (I love to scrapbook. I don't do too much of the fancy stuff. We don't have the money for that, but I love to do it, it calms me when I'm stressed

Snuck a peek

2008-10-21T05:52:00.000-07:00

I kind of got on the scale this morning. It's like a magnet, what can I say. It looks good though so I'm feeling even more motivated as I start my day!

I'll post later.

"Just keep counting, just keep counting"

2008-10-20T22:40:00.000-07:00

These past couple of days I have been doing sooooo good counting my points. I'm actually really impressed with myself. I went to the store tonight to buy formula and I ended up not getting any snacks or drinks to bring back home. I also have made sure that I drink all my water. Today I swear I peed 20 times.

All this talk about me doing so well usually just leaves in dissappointment. I probably won't do well at my weigh in, which will make me frustrated and then I'll say F*** it and I'll just stop trying for 6 months and gain 30 pounds. Ahhhh, yes that would be me. I guess the difference now is I'm trying not to be so negative. Since I've had Addison I' ve lost over 30 pounds. And even though I've only lost 10 since the baby weight just melted off, I'm really happy about that. I just need to see myself as a turtle, "slow and steady wins the race" and be glad for every little success I have.

Laundry Day

2008-10-19T22:07:00.000-07:00

Today it felt like I did 20 loads of laundry. Ever since Addy was born I seem to have lost my groove with the whole laundry thing. She needs a "special" detergent. People make it seem like if you wash their clothes with regular detergent something terrible is going to happen. Don't tell anyone, but her pajamas she wore last night were accidently thrown in with ours. (GASP!)She was absolutely fine! She didn't have to go to the hospital, and her body didn't expand into an array of rashes. I guess that's my cue that she would be ok if I stop the "special" detergent. Sure would make my life easier!

Today I did very well OP. The only thing is I felt really dizzy and nauseated the majority of the day. Is that normal? I was eating, I wonder if my body is in shock from me cutting my calories so much after quitting nursing. Drinking a lot of water seemed to help, so maybe I was just dehydrated? I don't know. We went shopping today and I got some low point items. I also got my lunch ready for the week. I'm having egg salad for two lunches, and some grilled chicken salad for two days, and I'll finally top it off with a lean cuisine. It feels good to have a plan when it comes to lunch. We can't afford the money, and I can't afford the points of eating out everyday.

I gained...

2008-10-18T15:20:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was my weigh in and I gained 2 pounds. *sigh*

So I did everything I could to stay within points and by the end of the day I made it!! Of course there was an event going on at a friends house and we were welcomed by a lot of homeade appetizers. I was determined to just sip on a beer and take those points. HA! I didn't make it. It started with a taste of the spinach artichoke dip and ended up with a brownie. I was so not liking myself. I keep doing this and it's pissing me off. Why do I like food so much? Why can't I avoid it?

We're off to Costco when the kids wake up. (We didn't get home until midnight and both of them were up all night, I can't believe Addy did that! I am not having any samples unless it's fruit. I can't do it. I'll try one and have all of them. I will lose this week!

Not looking forward to tomorrow

2008-10-16T21:24:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my weigh in day. I don't think I lost any weight this week. I've followed the plan, but I could of done better. Today I looked into going to meetings, but it looks expensive. AZ sux, they don't offer the monthly plan. I guess I'll just stick to E-tools.

Addy is doing much better. She had a "blow-out" today at daycare. Luckily it happened before the prune juice. Obviously after that they thought it better to not give her the bottle of it that I sent. Now we get to wait for two weeks to see if this new "hypoallergenic" formula works out. Makes me REALLY wish I didn't stop breastfeeding. But she was having problems with my milk too, I just need to keep reminding myself of that.

Can't wait for the weekend!!!

Poor Baby

2008-10-15T10:19:00.000-07:00

Today I'm staying home from work because my little girl is constipated. Everytime she trys to do her thing she just lets out these blood curdling screams. She did this last night. She has been having trouble spitting up so we put her on soy...oy never again. We're going to take her to the doctor to see if she can get some acid reflux medicine to help her out. I'll post again later.

Update....

So after 6 hours of suppositories (sp?) and prune juice, I think Addy finally got enough out to be comfortable. Poor thing, when she wasn't trying all I could do is just hold her and comfort her. I really don't want to go through that again. It makes me feel so bad about giving up nursing. I didn't realize how badly it would affect her.

I had a bad/good day when it came to WW. I did go to McDonalds for lunch and order a small nugget and fries meal. I also had chinese food for dinner. BUT when I went into work for a little while I was able to stay away from the treats that were left out and only get the fruit. That is soooo unlike me. I usually can't resist a cookie, or a handful of chips. What's good about the chinese food is I didn't order anything fried, and I only ate half so tomorrow I have some left over for lunch!

Taco Bell Run

2008-10-14T21:17:00.001-07:00

Tonight we went to Taco Bell because we got home late. I just got 2 tacos and I even managed to stay within my points. It is so hard for me to get out of the habit of ordering or eating whatever I want. Before this I wouldn't eat whatever I wanted, but I would treat myself once in awhile. The problem was that once in awhile turned out to be once a day. Now that I'm done with kids this is my last chance to lose this weight. That means no more "special" occasions, and no more treats. I am done!

Doing good

2008-10-13T22:30:00.000-07:00

T0day was my first day back at work since being OP again and I have to say I did very well. I stayed within my points, and felt really good. The one thing I've noticed is I don't have the cravings that I had when I was nursing. I'm also not so hungry anymore. Thank god! 5 more days until my weigh in.

Ugh....Sunday

2008-10-12T16:39:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's already Sunday. I so don't want to go back to work tomorrow. It's so hard being a working mom, especially when you have a baby. I wish I could just take off, but I used up all my days for maternity leave. Blah.

Anyway, today we didn't have Aiden in the morning. We got up and took Addy for a walk to the store. It was funny because it was actually cold this morning. I live in AZ so that was the first day it's been chilly since she was born. She looked so cute all bundled up with a beanie on. We actually had to buy some more winter clothes because we don't have any in her size. After our walk we took Ty's mom out to lunch at Sweet Tomatoes. I did very good with just a salad and baked potato. I'm not sure how to count those points. That's the bad thing about WW sometimes you just don't know.

Tonight I plan on making my lunches for the week so I can bring them and not worry about buying lunch. I also bought some celery sticks and carrots to take as snacks. This is all about me changing what I eat completely. There is always snacks at work, and it's up to me to not have any.

Some days are just a giant to-do list

2008-10-11T21:31:00.000-07:00

Don't you just hate it when there are days where it seems like your constantly trying to get things done so you can move on to something else? Today felt that way in the beginning of the day, but eventually got better.

This morning I woke up and tried desperately to get caught up on laundry. I still haven't got this whole laundry for four thing down. After Ty got home from training we got to drop the kids off and have a day to ourselves, the only thing is most of the day was running errands. I had to take a test for traffic-school then go to work and get some stuff ready for Monday. Then Ty had to find a wetsuit for his triathalon. We eventually ended up at a friends house for a nice bbq, and I had my first alcoholic beverage in two years, so all and all it wasn't so bad.

Today I did ok following on plan. We did go out to Indian food, (I'm trying to eat as much spicy food as possible since stopping nursing.) and I consumed a 6 pack of a "light" alcoholic drink. The old me would end up going to Jack-in-the-Box, or Taco Bell for muchies, but tonight I just got my 1 point chocolate pudding snack and felt fine. I know that once I get overy the whole, "I need to have since I haven't had it in so long" thing, I know I'll be really ready to stay OP.

For the record...

2008-10-10T19:14:00.000-07:00

On the way back from the museum we stopped at Cold Stone and I got nothing but an iced tea!!!!! My first victory!!! Also, the kids are asleep and I have 2 points left. I can't believe I actually made it through my first day OP!!!

No more nursing!!

2008-10-10T05:06:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day I will not nurse Addy. Top 3 things I will make sure to consume: coffee, peanut butter, and brocolli. I would say just kidding, but I am dead serious. Oh how I've missed caffeine!!

Today is also the first day I go down in points on weight watchers. Although I haven't been following the program that much since having her I've managed to lose 36 pounds. I only have 3 pounds left to get to my pre-pregancy weight, but then I need to work on the 10 pounds left over from Aiden.....and then the 20 pounds I've gained since our wedding day. I'm too depressed to go on, but trust me I have more to lose than that.

My mother-in-law gave me all her materials for weight watchers and I'm signed up to do it online. I was planning on starting meetings after I stop nursing but of course finances don't look so hot right now. Ty and I went yesterday and canceled our gym memberships. We also downgraded our cell phones and cable. We're not drowning in debt, or late on any payments, just had to start taking Addy to daycare a couple days a week instead of grandma's house, had to find the money somehow.

Today we are off from school and have decided to take a family day. I don't think we've done a family day since before Addy was born. We've decided to go to the Phoenix Children's Museum. (Our other options were the zoo and the state fair, but this of course was the cheapest.) I"m really looking forward to it. I'm glad we're going somewhere to let Aiden run around and play. He's 3 and has been a little neglected due to the baby.

I'm going to stop writing so I can figure out what else I can do with this blog. If you don't see a pic here of the museum then that means I'm dumb and I can't figure this whole blog thing out.